Mother and Child


Nurture or neuter? It’s your choice

Right from conception, bonding between mother and child begins. The bond develops since the umbilical cord provides everything a baby needs to thrive inside the womb. Many psychologists believe that after the umbilical cord is cut, a whole new level of physical and emotional attachments begin. Breastfeeding strongly fosters the early post partum maternal bond via touch, response and mutual gazing. For the most part, a woman’s nurturing instincts remain throughout her life. These instincts enables her to do whatever it takes to nourish, care for and protect her child at all costs without regarding her own needs. As innocent as this may seem, the same nurturing instinct is what very often makes a woman cling on to an abusive relationship that needs to be neutered.
In his book titled Daddy Loves His Girls,T. D. Jakes writes:This nurturing instinct is what can cause that woman to cleave to a relationship that is diseased or hold onto an issue that is dead and decomposed… It is dangerous when a woman holds onto things that should be released.
Rarely will you meet a man who is enamoured for years with someone who has gone out of his life. Men are not so much for sitting around waiting for someone to come back… don’t think that men don’t have feelings… it is just that we are not by nature nurturers, and we have a tendency to erase issues more easily than some women do.
Nurturing a problem not only means you keep it, it also implies that you are feeding it. It is drawing strength from you, just as a child has no way of getting food in the mother’s womb except from her… You can become a nurture of something that is depleting you. It is wearing you down, and yet you keep pouring into it. You pour emotion and attention. You pour out your energy, and worst of all, you sacrifice your future to an idol that is not worthy of your worship. You are nurturing something that needs to be neutered.

What’s Needed

To neuter what needs to be neutered, you need to:

  • Leave your past behind.
    This is easier said than done! Most times your emotions will want you to hold on to decaying stuff or abuse because it is so familiar to you that it is actually your comfort zone.
    “Some people stay in abusive relationships, jobs and other negative situations because they cannot let go. People can stay in these situations until they get physically ill and sometimes even die. Life is too precious to spend it being manipulated,” according to Edwin Cole, who was the founder of the Christian Men’s Network, a religious organisation devoted to helping men and fathers.
    “However, you cannot allow yourself to make decisions based on sentiment instead of truth. Unless you neuter the old, you cannot successfully nurture the new.’Leaving is as important as entering; and entering as as important as leaving,’ ” Cole noted.
    “How can I seperate from this person?” you may ask. “The answer is simple; you don’t cut off the person. Simply make a decision about your lifestyle… If you are carrying old pain, old scars, dead relationships or even a torch for someone who has moved on with his life, I counsel you to abort that thing that is draining your life and blurring your vision. You are a nurturing being, but you must neuter that thing… Forgetting your past doesn’t mean you develop selective amnesia. You may still remember the events, but the pain of them has been removed like a stinger from a bee. The bee still buzzes, but he is not a threat because his sting is gone… “
  • Get to know yourself.
    Who are you? Why are you on earth? What do you want to be remembered for? Unless we squarely answer this kind of questions , history is likely to repeat itself. According to Edwin and Nancy Cole, “We aren’t as likely to be manipulated and entangled in a mess if we know who we are and can genuinely believe in ourselves.” Are you ready to do whatever it takes to achieve your life’s purpose? “It is always better to fail something than to excel at nothing at all. Get up and try again. The journey to recovering your potential is the ability to move beyond your past and use it to inform and improve your future…” (Dr. Myles Munroe) . The choice to move forward or not is hinged on you.
  • Surround yourself with the right people.
    Establish principles for your life and associate with those who enhance rather than inhibit your values. “When we don’t value ourselves, we tend to attract people who support that devalued image…” (T. D. Jakes). You attract who you are. You increase or decrease by association.
  • Get additional outside help fast.
    This is especially if the relationship is an abusive one with very complicated and severe underlying forces. To nurture or neuter? It’s your choice.
Advertisements

COOKERY


Crown roast of lamb chops on Welsh onion cake!

SUMMARY

The Welsh recipe is a stunning crown roast of lamb chops on onion cake – layers of potatoes and onion baked in butter until they melt. The lamb chops are placed on top of the potatoes which soak up the tasty roasting juices.
Preparation time: 20 mins
Cooking time: 1 hour 35 mins and serves 6

Ingredients:

  • 400 grams white onions
  • 200 grams floury potatoes
  • 100 grams melted butter
  • 12 – 14 lamb chops
  • Black pepper and salt to taste
  • 1 large rosemary sprig for garnishing
  • Mint sauce (for serving)

Method:

  • Heat oven to 200C. Slice the onions. Slice the potatoes finely, and then toss with the melted butter and season with salt and black pepper.
  • Brush a shallow ovenproof dish with some of the melted butter. Layer the potato and finishing off with a meat layer of overlapping potato slices. Sprinkle the remaining butter over the slices.
  • Cover the dish with foil and then bake for one hour.
  • Remove the foil after the onion cake has baked for one hour. Place the lamb chops on top with their bones interlaced , and then tuck the rosemary sprig in the middle. Return to the oven for 25-35 mins, depending on the size of the racks, and on how you prefer the doneness of the lamb.
  • The potatoes will, by now, be beautifully tender and golden brown on top. Allow the lamb chops to rest on the bed of potatoes for five minutes before serving. Use mint sauce or mint jelly as an accompaniment.

Cooking tips:

  • Lamb is a young sheep that is under one year of age and therefore has tender meat.
  • Lamb flesh should be pinkish, firm and finely grained. Fat should be white, solid and flanky.
  • For a crown roast, a double piece of loin lamb has 14 chops. Allow about two ribs per person.
  • When preparing a crown roast, keep the tips of the bones from blackening by wrapping with a bit of aluminium foil.
  • Mint sauce is the accompaniment to lamb.

The Birth Of Christ Jesus


Before Jesus was born, this happened.”The birth of Jesus took place like this. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. Before they came to the marriage bed, Joseph discovered she was pregnant. (It was by the Holy Spirit, but he didn’t know that.) Joseph, chagrined but noble, determined to take care of things quietly so Mary would not be disgraced.While he was trying to figure a way out, he had a dream. God’s angel spoke in the dream: “Joseph, son of David, don’t hesitate to get married. Mary’s pregnancy is Spirit-conceived. God’s Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. She will bring a son to birth, and when she does, you, Joseph, will name him Jesus—‘God saves’—because he will save his people from their sins.” This would bring the prophet’s embryonic sermon to full term:Watch for this—a virgin will get pregnant and bear a son;They will name him Immanuel (Hebrew for “God is with us”).Then Joseph woke up. He did exactly what God’s angel commanded in the dream: He married Mary.” The Message (MSG) Matthew 1:18-24

DEEPER STILL


No matter how deep our darkness … He is deeper still.” ~Corrie ten Boom “Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.” (Psalm 139:7-12).

A Christ Centered Christmas


Keep focusing on what is important!

love this poem that reveals that truth.
1 Corinthians 13. [Christmas Version]

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows,strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls,but do not show love to my family, i’m just another decorator.
If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christians cookies, preparing gourment meals, and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime: but I do not show love in my family, it profits me nothing,
if I trim the spruce will with shimmering angels and crotcheted snowflakes, attend myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choirs cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse.
Love is kind, though harried and tired
Love does not envy another home that has coordinated Christmas china and table lines.
Love does not yell at the kids to get out of the way but is thankful they are there to be in the way.
Love does not give to those only who are able to give in return; but rejoices in giving to those who cannot.
Love bears all things, believes all things, and hopes all things, and endures all things.

Love never fails!

Note: Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust; but giving the gift of love will endure!

MERRY CHRISTMAS


People ask, Do you like Christmas? Like it? God planned the world for it! That was the key of history locking together all days. Without Christmas the world would be meaningless… The Incarnation and work of Christ are God’s greatest achievement. Not to worship on Christmas day is scandalous. It is HIS day, not the festival of fried geese. Those who quibble about the 25th of December being once a pagan mid-winter feast have no perspective whatever. They may as well say we can’t grow wheat in a field because some thorns grew there before. Beyond all question the mystery of godliness is great: He appeared in a body! (1 Tim. 3:16) God bless you and MERRY CHRISTMAS.

itHAPPENEDtoME: ACCUSED OF MURDER


Humphrey was to rejoin his family in the city after sitting for his exams in November 1995. But he put his plans of travelling to the city on hold to take care of his widowed grandmother who was battling with throat cancer. He single handedly managed her home in the villages.

While struggling with daily chores at his grandmother’s home, he saw a money making opportunity and grabbed it. He transformed two of his grandmother’s six-acre farms into a horticultural crop project. Within no time , his project had successfully taken off and was the envy of the neighbourhood where maize, beans and banana farming were the norm. Consumers and traders flocked Humphrey’s farm to buy tomatoes, cabbages, and kales. The success of the project and favorable income encouraged Humphrey to increase the acreage under horticultural crops.

The drought that hit the country for the better part of ’96 only fueled Humphrey’s desire to succeed. A young uncle who had just graduated from University, joined him in the farming activity a short while later. Together they would wake up at 5 am every morning to fetch drums of water from the nearby River to irrigate the crops.

As the drought worsened, the horticulture plot owned by Humphrey and his uncle was the only source of green vegetables for households and traders in the area. The two young men also supplied their produce to the nearby Schools and hospitals. Traders placed their orders well in advance because demand was more that supplies. They made sales worth more every week.

After a month of sure green hold, the duo woke up one morning to a rude shock. Thieves had harvested a half an acre of their produce overnight. How were they going to compensate traders who had paid in advance for their orders? This prompted the duo to keep a night vigil on the garden for the next two weeks, hoping to catch the thieves if the returned. It seemed however, that the thieves’ 40 days were not exhausted, as they sneaked into the garden one early morning after Humphrey and his uncle had returned home and harvested the entire ripe tomato crop. Incensed, the boys resorted to an all- night vigil , this time determined to catch the thieves.

It was one Monday morning in March 1996 at around 4 am, When Humphrey spotted three men harvesting on their farm. He did not know how to confront them single handedly for they were armed, and his uncle was keeping watch from a banana plantation a short distance away. Humphrey’s said rose with every fruit of tomato the men had picked. That was his sweat. Torn between watching someone feed on his sweat and taking a risk to protect what belonged what belonged to him, Humphrey gathered courage and lunged with a club at the nearest thieve. Shocked, the man ran away as Humphrey pursued him. One of his accomplices hit Humphrey with a club, but he ignored the distraction, intent on arresting his target. He was by this time calling out for help. His uncle took ave and came to his aid. Their shouts alerted villagers.

The thieves split at this point, everyman for himself. For the two young men, a bird in hand was worth two in the bush – they were determined to arrest the they had concerned. Villagers were irritated after a spate of cattle thefts in the area and now bayed for the thief’s blood. They gathered around the man who was begging for mercy and hit him to his last breath.

The situation was out of theird hands, there was nothing we could do. A vigilante pleaded with the mob not to kill the man so that he could lead the police to the arrest of the gang, but to no avail. The beat him and left him for dead. The local Assistant Chief summoned the police who took the man to hospital, but was pronunced dead on arrival,Humphrey recalled the incident.

The following morning the Assistant Chief asked Humphrey and his uncle to accompany him to the local police station to make a routine report on the incident. This is the formal procedure usually carried out when this kind of incident occurs . It will take a short time and you’ll soon be back home,he assured the young men.At the police station, the Assistant Chief spent a long time briefing a senior station officer while we waited at the counter. He later left up without word. The officer commanding the station O. C. S was reportedly out and were requested to wait for him to give direction on our case, explained Humphrey. The young men assumed theirs was a straightforward case of mob justice and they were only in police station to record statement because the thieves had raided their farm.

We were wrong. The officer asked us to step into ‘that room’ and being my first time in a police station, I naively crossed and entered what turned out to be a hold up cell. I got concerned after we entered and the door locked behind us. The realisation that my uncle and I are under arrest was too much to comprehend. The early morning events replayed in my mind as I sat pensively on the cold floor wondering why it was taking so long for us to record a statement and be set free,Humphrey recalled.